Oh, My Good Dude

This page is not for the faint of heart (yeah, yeah...).  So I'm sitting here early this fine Thursday morning, planning my day of house-looking, rugby, and possibly a bit of putting.  It's shaping up nicely, I'm doing a bit of work and Lady's really whining up a storm (which is actually a bit unusual, normally if I'm sitting at the computer she shuts up and lets me work).  So I let her out of the room and a couple of minutes later get a whiff of something, my first thought is, "Oh my good lord, please let that be a fart."  

Yeah, I know, if that exact phrase passes through your mind, you're in serious trouble.  So I get up and walk out to the living room and... I'm in serious trouble.  Lady's slinking past me, looking like she was a lifelong catholic and had just pissed on the altar in St. Peters, which I take as a bad sign.  Dude, she's covered maybe 15 square feet with the foulest, liquidest, gut-churningest doggie-doo you've ever seen.  I start to wonder how the hell I'm going to get that cleaned up because, sure, my carpet's not the cleanest, but this one sort of stands out...

Well, I'm the good hearted owner and I don't even bad dog her, there were clearly forces beyond her control at work there, so I take her out and we stroll around.  As we're coming back in I'm hoping that some diarrhea fairy has swooped down and cleaned the carpet (heck, while we're hoping, maybe she's sent in my taxes, too).   When the door opens I realize that, if she has, she ain't real good at her job.

So I go through a gazillion paper towels and one real towel and some water and most of a can of carpet cleaner.  I'm just about to go vacuum, but I'm sure I'll have to go buy some more cleaning supplies, I mean, getting that all clean with some paper towels would be like cleaning the mob out of Sicily by strolling up and saying, "Hey guys, we've had some complaints, would you maybe, you know, uhhmm, stop all that mean stuff you've been doing?"

So that's it, that's all, all done.  I'm off to find lunch and a house and maybe a putt.  Cheers...

Doug's thoughts on nothing in particular